Amsterdam – Day 2 – High as hell

posted in: Amsterdam 2013, holiday | 1

The pillows here are too damn big, that is all.

We woke up at 10:30, by my lead of course, if it were up to Nash we might not have ever left. Some showering and stuff later, we left around 11:30,  refreshed and ready to take on some more of Amsterdam.

The game plan for today was to try do as much typically Amsterdam stuff as possible, that meant Red Light District, Getting high and with some luck finding some poffenthingies and herring.

We set off for Harlemmer Street, which had been recommended by our hotel concierge as the best place for good coffee shops, the walk over was fairly standard, the oddities in the streets and canals of Amsterdam were starting to become less odd, though we eventually ran into what looked like a strpper and her gimp in the middle of the road, that was odd.

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We popped into a hams/salami specialist shop for a bite to eat (Ibericus, Haarlemmerstraat 93), and ended up with a nice little platter of assorted hams and some tomato salsa bread.
It was pretty awesome.

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turns out today was also ‘Canal Pride’, the highlight of Amsterdam’s ongoing Gay Pride week (yes, apparently we picked the middle of gay pride week to visit). The canal we were at was filled with spectators waiting for something to come down the middle of the canal, we passed by later to see some cowboy jetskiiers and a guy with a water jetpack thing.

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And then… things started to get crazy.

We went into a coffee shop, and spoke to a very happy entheusiastic lady who was happy to help us find what we wanted.
Apparently we had walked into the ‘farm’ which only sells seeds, though she redirected us to the sister shop down the road.

IMG_1086This place was much more hardcore, a bouncer checking for ID at the door, dark lighting inside, and then a massive counter with weighing scales and craptons of fluffy looking weed.
I browsed the ‘menu’, about 10 different types of marijuana to choose from, and then some more exotic stuff on the back. I ended up buying 2 pure blunts of something called ‘blue cheese’, (why blue cheese? I dont even like blue cheese.), they were 7.50 Each so it came to 15 EUR.
Nash and Hass didn’t want to do it, so it was just lonely ol’ me taking my haul back to the ‘farm’ to smoke.
I felt almost a little greedy for wanting to try it so bad, like everyone else wanted to go out and do stuff in Amsterdam, and that I was forcing them to stay with me in this coffeeshop for a while just so that I could experience it.
But then at the same time, when else am I ever going to try it? I don’t think I’d ever want to get involved with it back in the UK, but walking around here you almost become desensitized to it, we saw more people smoking pot than we saw smoking cigarettes.

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I had never actually smoked anything before, not even tobacco, so this was quite an experience – I cranked the lighter and started toasting the end of the first blunt. The first few drags were heavy, too heavy, the smoke scorched the back of my throat and made me choke a little though I got the hang of it quickly enough.

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First blunt down. No effect. No Nothing.
I’m starting to feel annoyed, did I just blow 15 EUR on nothing? Am i not smoking it correctly? Do i need more than a gram to see what the big deal is?

I start up the second blunt immediately, I figure maybe its like alcohol, and that if I don’t keep going, I won’t get any effect.
I also figured I should try changing my smoking method, So I kept an eye on a group of guys opposite us, seeing how they smoke.
I don’t know what changed, but it started having an effect.

"Guys guys get that guy to take a picture of me so that I'll have something to remember that time I got high"
“Guys guys get that guy to take a picture of me so that I’ll have something to remember that time I got high”

The following 6 hours or so could easily be summed up with ‘Steve got high as hell’, but I will try my best to say what I can recall.
Everything from this point until the point where we get served dinner is under the effects of it.

I begin experiencing what I can only describe as ‘Input lag’ on my body, it became hard and strange to control my own body parts, almost like I would think about moving my arm, but then nothing would happen until a second or so later. At the same time, I felt lucid enough to understand what was happening. It also felt like I was floating in some capacity, and that I was swaying around (though apparently I was sitting still the whole time.)

Time passes, and apparently time passes very very slowly in that ‘world’, the lag I was experiencing kept increasing, until eventually, it became bad enough that I felt that I was essentially having an out of body experience, where I could almost see and overview myself, predict what was going to happen next, and then see my own body take that action, it was bizarre. Almost like watching a well rehearsed scene.

The actual experience in itself was so bizarre, like having enough control over your body to actually get stuff done, but not having enough control to be able to control how or when you do it. Almost as if your body knows the end point of the story, but your brain kind of makes up the middle part so you’re just doing whatever in the interim.
Also, stuff makes significantly less sense, looking at some video footage I / nash took, I was talking very fast, yet I remember talking at a normal speed, and that time would take forever to pass (5 minutes felt like an hour)

We eventually leave the shop, at this point I am kind of still freaking out because it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I take the lead, and as I get outside the shop, I see that i am on my own (bare in mind, everything is going super slow fo rme right now, my turning around to see the shop again felt like it took place over 5 seconds in itself.), Nobody was coming out of the shop, my friends have abandoned me I thought, I freaked the fuck out. Then hass popped his stupid head out and I yelled at him for abandoning me.

The next few hours are insane, the world is a film in my head right now, it was starring me who was just trying to survive the day while being blazed, and featuring Hass and Nash, who were conspiring against me and trying to abandon me. I seemed convinced that they were out to get me on multiple occasions, and that they didn’t care about my situation, where I was and so on. In my head I almost managed to sneak away from them which shows just how little attention they were paying to me, im not entirely sure how that ended though and I was brought back by Hass in the end.

Other random stuff I can remember:
– Canal sparkling like crazy and looking awesome
– Tripping balls and saying how awesome the pavement looked
– Filming about 40 minutes of footage whilst stoned, in an attemtpt of hoping to work out what is actually happening, as even when stoned I know that stuff isn’t right. For example nobody around was reacting to stuff I was doing, so it almost felt like I wasn’t there at all
– Being convinced that I was actually having a complete dream and was still in the coffee shop
– – Taking drags of air, and then thinking “yep, im defo still in that coffeeshop, none of this is real”
– We went to a sweetshop at some point and hass got me pic’n’mix, eating the gummy sweets was bizarre, almost like I could place my consciousness in my tongue and ‘become’ the sweet getting thrown around my mouth. Weird stuff man.
– We went to an ice cream shop at some point, i had 2 scoops, watermelon and Banana
– Being concerned about not being able to have anything to blog as I wouldn’t be able to remember anything.
– Hass and Nash going back to get weed because they wanted to try it after seeing my reaction to it
– – Hass having a conversation with the bouncer outside the weed shop, and the bouncer being like ‘oh yeah, he high. he look like he gonna marry that wall’ (I was leaning against a nearby wall at the time)
– – Me thinking that nash and hass were awful ffriends for wanting to get high after seeing what insanity i had gotten in to.
– having the dryest mouth in the world
– returning to the hotel at some point and having some cold 7up (which was incredible)
– wanting to go to the ‘I AMstardam; sign and queuing up for a tram
– Somehow ending up in another coffeeshop, where Nash had a joint
– – Having this pain in my knee and thinking that my knee was somehow becoming glued to the table.
– Having a burger from FEDO (which sell vending machine style hot food) – It was incredible.
– Somehow ending up back on weed street, and back in the same coffeeshop from earlier.
– – Hass trying a little, then changing his mind and stopping…
– – – Resulting in me having another 1/3 of a joint.
– Nash wanted to do shrooms, I told him to cut that shit out (even high steve knew that shit was messed up)

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10/10 Vending machine burger
10/10 Vending machine burger

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<memories hazy>
At some point we head to a tourist information centre and Nash starts to become high.
A balloon rolls by while we are talking, I decide to pop it. Nash jumps a foot into the air in shock and then hits me.
<memories hazy>

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Ending up in the Amsterdam Sex Museum, nash thoroughly enjoys it, seems to think we are disliking it, It was kind of neat.
We ran into a group of girls, 2 of which are clearly looking after their high friend as well, that was kind of interesting.

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More stuff happened (can’t remember)
End up in Dam Square, then H&M (nash wanted to go)

We found a cheapish looking Chinese Restaurant which everyone seemed okay with, It was around 8pm by now so we thought we should just decide and go with something instead of wandering around at 9:40 looking for food like Day 1.
I had rice with Chicken, Duck and Char Siu for 11 EUR, it was alright, a little dry, and needed more sauce, but it was okay.
It was also during this dinner that I finally ‘came down’.

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The finale for today was a trip to the Red Light District, which was… awesome. I didn’t actually have any knowledge prior of Amsterdam’s red light district so I didn’t know what to expect.
The jist of it is a lot of sex shops, and a ton of single rooms with red lights above them, and then beautiful scantily clad girls inside staring out trying to catch people’s attention.

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After this, we went to one of the cake shops from the other day, there were cute girls inside. I had a slice of cheesecake, then we all headed back to the hotel.

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One Response

  1. “First blunt down. No effect. No Nothing.”

    OH DIS GON’ BE GOOOOOOOOOD.

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