Ducktales Remastered (PC) Review : A game that deserves to be sent to the moon

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So, in a similar fashion to a certain Resident Evil game I reviewed, I was hoping the newly released Ducktales Remastered would be a good game which i’d be able to review – however it rapidly descended into a big list of things I disliked about the game.
I never really played much of the original Ducktales game on the Nes, so unlike some which will likely be purchasing and playing this for nostalgia, I’ll only be playing it as a game that was released in the year 2013.

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We’ll try and start positive

Things I liked:

1) The 2d art assets look beautiful
Like HD cels pulled straight from a top animation studio, Scrooge, the rest of the ducks and the enemies all look great.

2) The music
The soundtrack (from what I can tell with my limited knowledge of the original game) is both faithful to the original and yet has its own modern twists – Pretty sure i even heard some dubstep elements in the Transylvania level.

3) You can play the levels in any order – that’s always kind of cool.

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And then it gets nasty…

Things I disliked:

1) Only 2 buttons, yet the control system seems clunky and doesn’t always work.
The main mechanic for doing… anything.. in this game is Scrooge’s ability to pogo, you use it to kill enemies, to get to higher places…. pretty much a bunch of stuff that makes you not die.
It’s pretty frustrating then, when you try to pogo and the game won’t let you – resulting in your death.

2) ‘Game over’ means a load screen back to the level select hub
Since we were on the subject of inevitable death thanks to shit controls, I thought I should mention that if you die too much (read: more than twice) you dont get to retry that same area, but get instantly kicked back to the level select hub via loading screen.
Wanted to try that section again? Gotta load it up and play through til you get there again (the levels are long too)

3) Stupid level design
Specifically bits where you seem unable to get through without taking damage, on one occasion during ‘the moon’ level, I left an airship and fell out of the sky – straight onto an enemy who patrols under the spawn point.
Later on, I died and then respawned… right in that same position again – straight into the enemy, even though I knew it was coming as soon as I saw the level load up, I couldn’t do anything about it because the controls wouldn’t let me pogo.

4) Inconsistency in mechanics/physics in certain segments
Late in the Transylvania level, you have to ride a minecart, fair enough – old games have minecart segments, thats fine.
Whilst riding in the minecart, using jump causes Scrooge to travel forward with the minecart as it moves, however there are bits where the rails are missing and you have to jump over to another cart – The problem comes when you actually try to jump… and go vertically up and watch as the minecart goes off without you (resulting in your death).

5) The PC Version is bad
Obviously less of an issue if you are playing on console, but on the PC there are all sorts of reports of crashing, glitching….
Also, the game has pop-up icons for xbox controls instead of the keyboard controls.
I’ve also had the game stutter on me while I was pogo’ing, and have it kick me out of pogo form (resulting in me taking damage)

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6) Can’t skip speech
I mean, maybe they did get the voice cast from the show or whatever, but is that really a valid reason to prevent people from being able to skip/fast forward speech? As a result, your choices are spend ages watching the characters talk really slowly, or skip the entire cinematic.

7) Stupid gem spawning mechanics?
On more than a few occasions, I found gems spawning behind me – I’d walk forwards and then gems would appear on the path I just came from.
What? You expect me to literally take 1 step forward and 2 steps backwards through the whole level? I really couldn’t comprehend the logic behind this.

8) Cutscenes are boring
Unfunny, and too long.

9) Boss fights are unfun, with repetitive patterns
Probably a nod to the original, but the boss fights are very simple and easy to complete, yet require a lot of hits to kill them.

10) Standard enemies are less than fodder and practically reduced to environmental hazards
They have no AI, and rather just pace up and down until they hit the end of their leash, none of the enemies I encountered had any actual attacks either, almost purely relying on the crap control system to actually pose any threat.

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Verdict:

Perhaps those who have fond memories of the original will have a better time with this than I did, but as a standalone game released in 2013, this game is riddled with flaws and issues and no amount of celebrity voice talent or pretty art is going to be able to fix that.

Approximate Game Length :  Few Hours if you can tolerate playing to the end (1-4 Hrs)
Actual Worth / Price:  £50p / £12 = 0.04
Should you play it : No. The worth above is genuine, If someone tried selling the game to me for £1 I think I would turn them down.
Rating: 1/5

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