‘The Purge’ is the worst film I have seen in years.

posted in: films, rant | 0
[kad_youtube url=”https://youtu.be/K0LLaybEuzA” ]

So after watching the latest Rick and Morty episode, we got curious and ended up watching The Purge, which turned out to be absolutely awful.

I can’t remember the last time a film made me so angry, there is literally no likeable character in the entire film.

Spoilers ahead but you shouldn’t watch this film anyway so i’m basically protecting you.

The son: Lets a stranger into their locked down home on purge night, the night where everyone runs around trying to murder everyone else, when a large armed mob approaches their home and demands to have the stranger, he complains and basically refuses to let them have him – putting his entire family at risk of being brutally murdered.

The daughter: her boyfriend sneaks into the house and attempts to murder her dad – who shoots him in the stomach, she obviously still loves him very much despite this, and stays by his side til the end. After this, she doesn’t bother to question why the power has been cut to their house, and takes the boyfriends gun and wanders around the house without a light, where she is promptly captured by the stranger and held hostage.

The mother: Sides with the son and doesn’t want to give the stranger up to the mob outside, turns on the husband and basically calls him a monster despite the fact the dad is the only sane one in the house who is thinking rationally, and is only trying to protect his family. She also doesn’t feel it’s appropriate to parent her children properly, and lets them run around the house unattended despite the fact that all sorts of bad shit is going down.

The father: holy shit learn to be a parent, both of your kids are little shits and you are taking orders from them? Protect the random guy and endanger everyone’s lives? Seems like a good idea to me! Better idea still! Lets essentially join them, and become a mass murderer for the sake of keeping your autistic son happy!

 

The end? they murder all of the people trying to get into the house, and the dad dies.

Good fucking job son, your inability to think rationally has gotten your father murdered, but hey at least the random black guy that was on the street is saved! Your huge house is not only completely vandalized and covered in blood, but is also going to be repossessed because your mum is now a single parent because of your dumb ass.

Fuck this film. I was hoping the entire family would get purged but nope, because that would be too much of a happy ending.

Pacific Rim (2013)

posted in: films | 0

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Ultra fast review just to get some content out (have been preoccupied with games recently with the ongoing steam sales).
The less you know and have seen about Pacific Rim before seeing it, the better.
I had hardly seen anything about it other than the first teasers that were put out, and I was blown away.
Incredibly stupid, incredibly over the top, action all the way, and right up my alley.

This is a film that needs to be seen in the cinema for sure, the sheer scale of everything in the film is incredible. Be aware that the film is pretty much EXACTLY what it says on the tin, don’t go expecting a particularly deep plot or masses of character development, this is almost like watching Rocky but replacing Stallone with a gigantic robot.
Personally, what impressed me most and was the best part of the film were the graphics, obviously with a film like this you know that the majority of it is CGI, but they deliver it so very well, the film is a beautiful example of cutting edge CGI and special effects and what is capable nowadays, like if I was to go back in time and wanted to bring back something that would showcase how far special effects have come? It’d probably be this film.

I realise it’s maybe a little late to be saying this, but go big or go home with this one, I can’t imagine it being particularly fantastic on a home screen, but in the cinema its a true spectacle.

Kotonoha no Niwa / The Garden of Words (2013)

posted in: Anime, films | 0

Garden of Words is a short 45 minute film by Makoto Shinkai (5cm/Second, Voices of a distant star, Children who chase lost voices), similar to the rest of his other works, it is a visual masterpiece and contains a slow moving emotional story.
However, unlike the rest of his works, this film had me engaged the whole time, from the start of the film which draws you in with its incredible art, to the stunning climax at the end.

[Doki] Kotonoha no Niwa (1920x1080 Hi10P BD FLAC) [E7305504].mkv - 00000

This is without a doubt, the best animated piece of work i’ve seen in a while, it has a great story, sexy visuals, amazing soundtrack, just… everything.

http://doki.co/2013/06/17/kotonoha-no-niwa-blu-ray/

Grab the 1080p FLAC version if your computer can run it, the art really will blow you away.

This is a real masterpiece, and at 45 minutes there is little excuse to not watch it.

zplayer 2013-07-17 21-07-33-15

http://anidb.net/perl-bin/animedb.pl?show=anime&aid=9589

100 Yen: The Japanese Arcade Experience (2012)

posted in: films | 0

100Yen is an hour long documentary originally funded by a kickstarter back in 2010 (I think anyway), it  takes us on a journey through the Japanese arcade landscape from the 80’s through to the current day with analysis into each of the major trends and shifts that happen. The documentary is well made and features a bunch of interviews from famous faces (assuming you know your pro gamers), everything is pretty well shot and presented with a subtle chiptune soundtrack throughout.

I really enjoyed watching in particular the segment about music games, which featured some footage of DDR freestyle (always entertaining to watch) along with being able to spot locations and arcades which I myself have been to whilst I was in Japan.

For those who haven’t visited an arcade in ages, or are unfamiliar with the arcade scene in Japan, the documentary is definitely worth a watch, and for the hardcore gamers and arcade regulars there is still enough material and interviews here to keep you interested.

The asking price on the website is a little steep for a 1 hour documentary however I’m sure there are other ways to watch it if you are so inclined.

Ace Attorney : the Film (2012) – and a cross-examination between the film and game

posted in: films | 0

So I watched the Phoenix Wright film earlier today, it’s running time was longer than I anticipated, coming in at around 2 hours – standard for films nowadays, yet still shocking for a film based on a video game (though, I suppose, less shocking when the subject is Phoenix Wright).

The film is a fairly faithful telling of the first game in the Ace Attorney series, fans of the game will understand what I mean when I say it covers ‘The first turnabout’, ‘Turnabout sisters’ and ‘Turnabout Goodbyes’ (Thats acts 1,2 and 4 from the first game, and omits The steel Samurai case, and the Ema Skye Case, though the steel samurai case is referenced in the film) – The latter 2 cases, Turnabout Sisters and Goodbyes, were the best 2 cases of the first game imo, and to see them retold in more or less the way I remember it unfolding brought some nice nostalgia.

I was fortunate enough to vaguely remember the cases and what happens, yet not quite be able to remember what exactly happens, which is probably the best way to enjoy the film – too much knowledge and there is no tension as you have practically seen the film already, too little knowledge and you may find yourself confused by the slightly ridiculous plotline. A benefit of the film however is that the key points have been cleaned up, and the trials do not last as long as the do in the game (duh).

Humour from the game is preserved in entertaining ways one wouldn’t expect from such a seemingly serious film, and the rest of the humour is lovingly provided by the buttz.
Music from the game is also preserved to some extent, whilst there wasn’t quite enough of it, it was nice to hear familiar tunes stir up at climatic moments of the film, an orchestral arrangement of the court theme in particular had me grinning from ear to ear.

Characters are preserved fairly well, though some were ported better than others. My gripes with the characters however are purely cosmetic, with the actors playing their parts well.
Characters I thought were being played by the wrong people were Gumshoe (too young) and Maya (too old / not adorable enough), On the flipside, I thought Phoenix, Lotta Hart, Larry Butz and the judge were all cast pretty spot on.

Verdict:
Fans will definitely get the most out of this film, though fans who remember the twisting plot too well may find themselves slightly bored. Watching the cases unravel themselves however is almost as satisfying as playing through the games again. The film is just the right length and is a great mix of courtroom drama and light comedy, and well worth a look.

I grabbed the film back in september last year when there were no subtitles available, so I can’t direct you to that, however I can tell you that the copy of the film I saw was called ‘Ace.Attorney.2012.JAP.DVDRip.x264.AC3-zdzdz’ and was okay (if a little low quality).
The subtitles are mirrored on my hosting – http://www.mengsbizarreadventure.com/uploads/Ace.Attorney.2012.JAP.DVDRip.x264.AC3-zdzdz%20-%20Copy.txt
Download the file and then change the extension to .SRT

Ookami Kodomo: Ame to Yuki // Wolf Children (2012)

posted in: Anime, films | 0

Director Mamoru Hosoda seems to be on a hot streak after The girl who leapt through time, Summer Wars (the best Japanese animated film of all time imo) and now Wolf Children.
The film is 2 hours long and takes the viewer for an emotion fueled trip through the life of mother Hana, who falls in love with a wolf and subsequently has to raise two.
Wolf Children is filled with joy and tragedy similar to life itself, and has a very lovable cast of main characters – which is just as well as the film would likely drag on if not for the rollercoaster stylized plot.
The animation is top notch as you would expect from a film of this scale, scenery is beautiful and detailed whilst characters are kept fairly simplistic and yet detailed where it matters (facial expressions and so on).
Segments of the film become almost an orchestral music video, with the film becoming almost a backup act for the music.
I can’t really say too much more without spoiling stuff, but it is definitely worth a watch, this is a film that will make you laugh, hold your breath, and maybe cry. Watch it (Commie sub link)

Mind Game (2004)

posted in: Anime, films | 0

Mind Game is without a doubt, the most bizarre Anime/Film I’ve ever seen. Trying to explain the plot is as pointless as trying to understand what is happening in the film, so I’ll spare you guys that.

What I will say however, is that Mind Game is a truly amazing film, full of emotion and clever little spins/twists that will make you think that maybe the people creating it had any sort of idea what they were actually producing.
The artstyle in this film really sets it apart from…. anything else ever created, the film seems to dislike sticking to a set artstyle for more than 30 seconds at a time, scenes range from ‘my first drawing’ to animated photorealism and everything in-between  some scenes look like they were drawn sober, whilst some were drawn on a film cell still half covered in cocaine – but its a good thing, somehow.

I will add, that people looking for a proper plot, or even people looking for a conclusive story might not appreciate this film. Though I suppose it does have its own philosophical ending in its own way but it certainly isn’t the cut and dry ending that most people would prefer.

I think the random dance party was my favourite scene in the whole film

Anidb link here – http://anidb.net/perl-bin/animedb.pl?show=anime&aid=1834

Torrent here – http://ca.isohunt.com/download/22870258/mind+game.torrent

Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011/2012)

posted in: films | 0

Jiro dreams of sushi is a movie documentary about 85 year old sushi master Jiro Ono and his restaraunt, where he serves what is apparently the best sushi in the world.
The film is portioned approximately 50/50 his history/life and the food, both are amazing – though as a food buff myself the scenes where he preparing the sushi are incredible.

It at times feels like what can only be described as food porn, with slow motion slicing of fish, pressing of rice and coating the top with what I assume is magical love sauce.
This is all set to a classical soundtrack which seems to fit the film so very well.

Jiro dreams of sushi is a must see for food lovers, and according to rotten tomatoes, people in general – It is rated at 99% after 83 reviews and currently sits in the top 10 best films of 2012.

Watch the below trailer in HD, then watch the whole damn film because then you will understand how hard it is to make a sushi documentary sound interesting.

Skyfall (2012)

posted in: films, review | 1

Before I start, im going to go ahead and say Skyfall isnt a bad film.
Its easy when writing reviews to always focus on the things that annoy you about the film and skyfall had these little annoyances by the truckload, but the film itself wasnt bad.

The review also contains spoilers, highlight over them to read.

Infact, i dont think ive ever watched a truly ‘bad’ bond film, some of them arent great, but generally a bond film is a bond film.

My problem with skyfall then, is the plot, which for the most part is simplistic and boring, and then for the other part, riddled with good ideas which werent followed through. Many parts of the film feel like the writers had a really good idea for something and then got halfway and didnt have a clue how to continue the idea or resolve it, leading to it just kind of disappearing without a trace.

Prime examples of this are [ the death of the woman bond meets in the casino, or the counter-hacking-hacking started by Q ]

The main villain in skyfall also doesnt feel very bond like, with his grand scheme simply being to kill M, whatever happened to giant orbital space lasers or plutonium bombs.
Did I mention there are no gadgets in the film either? Did they lose their deal with aston martin or something?

My other massive MASSIVE issue with the film is the lack of intelligence displayed throughout, both by 007 himself and by the baddies, maybe its just because ive been playing Xcom recently, but were these people not trained to fight? to take cover? to not [walk through a field in a horizontal line towards a fortified house without prior knowledge of whats inside the house?], what about that scene with [the sniper, why wait for him to finish shooting and walk into melee range, he was ordered to terminate him afterwards anyway, shoot him in the arms and legs from afar and then interrogate the bastard]

Oh, and don’t even get me fucking started on the ending.

Infact, the more i think about it, the more I am starting to get angry, maybe it WAS a bad film. idk.

It was alright  and infact if it were a standalone film or anything but a James bond film I think I would have enjoyed it more, but it just didn’t feel like a bond film, which was kind of a downer for me.
After looking through some ‘professional’ reviews, seems im not alone in this sentiment, here are some quotes from metacritic

“With gadgets, girls and globe-trotting held to a minimum, Skyfall, could, for long stretches, be mistaken for just another 21st-century thriller, albeit a well-made and intelligent one.”

” Skyfall, in the recent mode of Christopher Nolan’s “Batman” films, is a gloomy, dark action thriller, and almost completely without the cynical playfulness that drew us to the series in the first place.”

ps. I enjoyed the first 10 minutes or so immensely, particularly the opening, which was very slick. (and I dont even like adele or the skyfall theme song)

The Raid : Redemption (2011)

posted in: films, review | 0

So ‘The Raid’ is the sort of action movie made for people like me, people with short attention spans, who probably dont watch films very often, and arent too bothered by a lack of cohesive plot solong as the film is entertaining.
The film ticks all these boxes, it runs about 90 minutes, with the first 15 minutes and last 5 minutes being more or less all of the story – the rest, is all action.
It is an indonesian film before it was brought over to the US, a man with a sharp eye obviously hoping to bring over the next ‘ong-bak’, the US version of the film also features a new soundtrack written mostly by the dude from Linkin Park, and its a good one – a hard hitting electro/DnB/dubstep soundtrack which complements the raw action perfectly.

The jist of the plot is an elite police team are sent into a highrise building to sweep the building of threats and kill the boss at the top floor (which, funnily enough, is basically the final level or two of the original Streets of Rage)
The review then?

The film is fucking raw. They enter the building in stealth, kill some dudes, and then the alarm gets set off… And shit gets real. The guns come out, the snipers assemble, the machetes and knives are unsheathed.
The raid at its heart is about an hour of impressive fight choreography, flitted with guns, knives and folk getting their spines and necks broken.

If you like these sort of martial arts films, you’ll love this, because, like the guy below, its executed very, very well.

Arrietty / Kari-gurashi no Arietti (2010)

posted in: Anime, films | 0

Arrietty is the studio ghibli take on ‘the borrowers’ concept, an american film was made in the late 90’s as a comedy with John Goodman or some fatguy i believe, unsurprisingly, the Studio ghibli version is better.


The story is fairly simple and follows the life of young borrower Arrietty as she does her first borrowing from the house she lives in, however things dont go quite as planned and… thats how the movie plays out.

It runs fairly short for a modern film at only 90 minutes and it feels it, I personally have no problems with this as theres nothing worse than watching a film that outstays its welcome, The borrowers Arrietty does what it comes to do, and then disappears much like the borrowers themselves. Its a great film, but falls short of other Studio ghibli greats like Porco Rosso or Laputa. The film also does a fantastic job of conveying the scale of the borrowers, the sound is particularly well done.
Im going to stop now before I start sounding like a film student.

8/10
Definitely worth the 90 minutes.

Note: This film comes out in cinemas in the UK on the 29th of July according to imdb

Tangled VS Megamind VS Despicable Me (2010)

posted in: films | 0

So today we have a ‘face off’ of sorts….

Tangled – By disney, a re-envision of the old tale of Rapunzel, classic disney princess/prince affair.

Megamind – By Dreamworks, the story of a troubled supervillain trying to find himself

Despicable Me – By newcomer ‘Illumination entertainment’ , another story about a supervillain, but this time trying to out supervillain another supervillain.

Films will be rated on Story, Comedy, Graphics, music and general how much i liked it (overall)

Lets begin then.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tangled (2010)

Tangled is without a doubt the prettiest of the 3 films, like…. seriously seriously pretty, the enviroments, character detail, lighting… things like hair and water look amazing.
That said, I thought that the humor in tangled was the worst of the 3, with comedy fairly slapstick in most cases, Granted its supposedly a childrens movie, but so are the rest of the films in this post, and so are all of the pixar films and they still manage to keep a good balance between childish slapstick humor and subtle adult jokes.
Something i didnt actually know until about 10 minutes before i watched the film is that it is a borderline musical ,now this isnt exactly a bad thing, but I guess I wasnt completely mentally prepared for it – Or i thought i was… and i wasnt. The film really reminds me of old school disney films like Beauty and the Beast, Happy endings, animal companions and the occasional sing and dance – This makes sense as the logical progression for Disney however (I hear princess and the frog was a flop)

Oh. Id also like to add that it sort of felt like the main character was based loosely on Miley Cyrus or something.

Best Bit? Without a doubt the Lantern scene which the film builds up to for the first half hour or so. Really Beautiful.

The scores:

Story : 5/10 – Fairly predictable Disney affair, I also felt the pacing was a little slow… Maybe because there wasnt actually much story to begin with

Comedy : 3/10 – As mentioned earlier, not much comedy here other than slapstick

Graphics : 10/10 – Amazing

Music : 8/10 – Its a musical, so i was kind of on edge during any song in case a housemate came in, the music is generally decent and fits the scene well, the tavern song was lol.

Overall : 7/10 – Its a good film, but I felt the lack of comedy let it down a little, However, Id say the film is actually worth watching JUST for the graphics. If you have a spare 90 minutes, grab a HD version and enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Megamind (2010)

I saw megamind last, So its still pretty fresh in my mind.
Im not really sure what, but I felt like something was missing from the film, Something felt out of place but I cant really put my finger on what, maybe the voices? Maybe the characters were unlovable? Im not really sure..
The story starts fairly strong, and then kind of loses its way after a while before trying to find itself, of course everybody watching already kind of knows where the story is going to end up and how the story will end, The plot is actually vaguely like the episode of Dexter’s Lab where he ‘Fires’ Deedee and then spends the rest of the episode trying to hire a new sister.
As sort of mentioned, I think the characters were a little…crap… Cant really say why, the main character was kind of unlovable and dumb, which is unsurprising because apparently his voice actor is Will Ferrel, who is also unlovable and dumb.
The film is pretty funny, about 50:50 slapstick:adult, this film also I think rocks the best music, because its hard not to enjoy a film where old famous rock songs are played.
Uh….more or less sums it up i think? I didnt really expect much from Megamind and whilst it didnt really shock me with anything but kept me entertained throughout.

Best bit? I cranked my speakers for the finale when Welcome to the Jungle came on for the final battle…

The Scores:

Story: 7/10 – Could have been more original, I feel like I’ve already seen this film somewhere else with different characters somewhere.

Comedy: 7/10 – Pretty funny with lots of variety

Graphics: 9/10 – I watched the 1080p version, And it was very pretty, yet somehow upstaged by Tangled in 720p, this may have scored higher had I not seen Tangled prior

Music: 9/10 – ALL ABOARD!~

Overall: 8/10 – A good animated film, brought down by a few little smudges here and there. Definitely worth a watch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despicable Me (2010)

I sort of stumbled into watching this film, taking a break from my work to stroll into the lounge where my housemates had just started watching it, my brother said it was a really good film so i dropped what i was doing and went to watch, it was a good call on my part.
In my opinion, I’d say Despicable Me is the best film of this bunch, im a bit of a sucker for cutesy films, comedies and bizarre shit, and Despicable Me seems to tick all the right boxes.
It feels like the writers and animators really tried their best to make the film hilarious, both in a bit of a slapstick way – with the little yellow minions acting similar to rabbits (from the rayman series) – and in a very clever way, the way the characters interact with each other is really good and entertaining in itself, add in some clever dialogue and the main characters voice/accent and its golden (“I SAID COOKIE ROBOTS. NOT BOOGIE. WHY ARE YOU SO OLD.”)
Another great asset the film has are that you will fall in love with most of the characters, the main, the minions,  the girls, the pirahnadog, its about the opposite to the feeling I had towards the characters in megamind.
The story is very simple but with a few twists here and there (he fly to the moon, he shrink the moon, he take the moon…) but story is arguably the weakest part of the film.

Best Bit? Its really hard to think of a best bit, I feel like the film was pretty consistently great all the way through and didnt really peak and drop like other films. So i guess i’ll just put a picture of Gru and the girls on the rollercoaster

The Scores:

Story: 6/10 – Very simple as mentioned before, and whilst its probably the film’s main weakness, it is by no means bad

Comedy: 10/10 – I laughed out loud, a lot. From the easy laughs like the failed Dart gun and failed bank presentation to the more obscure stuff.

Graphics: 8/10 – Slightly simpler graphics compared to the other two films, yet by no means bad, animation is still top notch but stuff just isnt as detailed as the others.

Music: 6/10 – It was alright, nothing too spectacular, but it all went with the film just fine. I did feel a little awkward watching the end dance though, it felt a little forced…

Overall: 10/10 – A very very enjoyable film, and one which I’d happily watch again in a few months maybe. Give it a watch for sure.

And the last of the backlog.. (Part 3 – Anime) // Haruhi Shoushitsu (2010)

posted in: Anime, films | 0

Early winter 2010 had a ridiculous amount of good anime series airing, to the point where every day there would be something to watch…
So what did i end up watching?

(This list goes from the stuff i enjoyed MOST TO the stuff i enjoyed LEAST)
(Also, everything listed is 13 episodes only)

Panty and stocking with garterbelt

So anyone on vent probably knows what this is, fucking amazing anime. While the show is seriously lacking in plot or sensibility, it makes up for it with comedy, swearing and a fucking unbelieveable soundtrack.
Im pretty sure ive already linked a FLY AWAY NOW FLY AWAY NOW video on this blog somewhere…
I wont really even try to summarise the plot or anything, just go and watch it, if you have the same sort of humor as me you will love it.
Oh also, each bad guy has a live action explosion sequence when they die.
10/10 : mostly for just being very original, having some awesome fight scenes and just being hilarious. GOD MY OHHHH~~~~

Soredemo Machi wa mawatte iru (And so the city keeps turning)

Sort of a slice of life anime about a ditsy girl working as a maid, its very character driven and pretty funny. Recommend a watch if you’re looking for a lighthearted character driven comedy. It also has a really catchy ending theme song…
9/10 : I really liked the characters and the comedy

Ika Musume (Squid Girl)

Girl is a squid. Girl tries to invade land. Girl ends up working in a cafe.
Pretty quirky and cute comedy de geso.
9/10 : Shes a fucking squid de geso.

The world only god knows

Dating sim expert gets paired with a demon and is tasked with capturing the hearts of real girls in order to release their inner demons or some bizarre shit. Its like a light romantic comedy but with him trying to win over different girls each time, pretty enjoyable and a second season has already been announced…
Also. Elsie is a super adorable sidekick
8/10 : Its something a little bit different and its just a nice short watch.

Psychic detective Yakumo

Guy can see ghosts with his left eye, helps some detective with some murder / spiritual possession cases and the story sort of goes abit crazy from there with some of the cases…. Its a pretty decent show although it feels like they try to make it go abit death note with the mind games and shit at the end (it was a little poorly done and predictable sadly), its a decent watch though.
7/10

My Little Sister Can`t Be This Cute

Oh my fucking god this series almost pushed me OVER THA FUCKIN LINEEEEEE~
When the main premise is the interaction between a brother and sister, why would you make the sister the most hatable, irritating, bitchy (and not in an anarchy panty bitchy angel style bitchy), selfish, annoying, brattish, spoilt, irritating fucking ARGRHGHGH.
Its not often you really want a character in an anime to suddenly be diagnosed with some sort of terminal disease but this girl does it.
All of the other characters are actually pretty nice, and this sort of redeems the series but fucking hell that sister….
4/10 : SQUARE GO LIKE

~~~~~

I also got to fnially see The disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya (2010) which was actually released in Japanese cinemas early 2010, but only recently came out on blu-ray to download (i didnt feel like going for the eyecancer camrip version).
Im pretty glad i held out waiting for it to come on blu-ray, as I was initially sort of hesitant after the fucking horrific Season2 endless 8 bullshit.
The film (subbed by Mazui) is in glorious 1080p and well translated, it runs a little long at 2hrs 40, but the film definitely doesnt feel that long, although the story seems to progress VERY slowly, the film never really seems to drag on and the plotline is pretty good, and appropriate for the haruhi series, its a good watch and totally redeems season 2.
9/10

Aachi wa Ssipak (2006)

posted in: Anime, films | 0

aka. What the fuck am i watching

So looking at the ‘similar’ anime section of Panty and stocking on aniDB, I saw this film.
The synopsis is as follows (copypasta from aniDB)

In the future, all energy sources are depleted, except human excrements. To reward production, people receive addictive, Popsicle-like Juicybars. Aachi and Ssipak are street hoodlums who struggle to survive by trading black market Juicybars. Through a chain of events involving their porn-director acquaintance Jimmy the Freak, they meet wannabe-actress Beautiful, whose defecations are rewarded by exceptional quantities of Juicybars. For that reason, Beautiful is also wanted by the violent blue mutants known as the Diaper Gang (led by the Diaper King), the police (most notably the cyborg police officer Geko), and others.

…… yeaaaaah…..

The film is bizarre to say the least, the art style is somewhat of a cross between beautifully detailed and oddly proportioned characters like Geko in the screenshot above , the story is odd – but you sort of just go with it eventually, the highlight of this film however is the action scenes which are fucking ridiculous to the max, generally featuring geko and the diaper gang (below), probably the most absurd action scenes ive ever seen – more ridiculous than your average devil may cry combo montage youtube video.
The film is an action comedy, with more emphasis on comedy depending on who you’re watching it with and what you’re expecting, as always – watching with a bunch of like-minded people is recommended for maximal comedic value.
The film is also really quite explicit with its gore, decapitations, bloodspray, grenades stuffed in throats, people getting impaled… its all there, and very animated.

^ This bitch creeps me out.

This film is a definite 10/10, comedy and raw explosive action scenes, thats everything i need in a film.

Black Rock Shooter (2010)

posted in: Anime, films | 0

(I guess i review this like a film?)

Black rock shooter is a 50 minute OVA roughly based on the Hatsune Miku song composed by Supercell of the same name, I say roughly based because its a fucking song to mini-film adaptation.
It does feel like a film, and it does feel like it runs way longer than 47 minutes, but you’ll be wishing it was a full length film….

The story is… intresting… Im not going to say its deep because you’ll watch it expecting a really deep film and hate me but the way in which the film is presented is very artistic, there is minimal explanation of anything throughout the film and it jumps between High schooler life and Black rock shooter who has an eye which catches fire and a gun for an arm. Its definately something you’ll probably want to rewatch in hope of understanding what the director is trying to deliver.

Im not entirely sure why but parts of the film reminded me of the girl who leapt through time, ordinary life, with a supernatural subtext

I’ve probably said too much already as I had no expectations or background on the story and rather enjoyed it ,
You can grab ‘Mochi fansubs’ 720p version here

I find most films go on too long, so i sort of liked the half-film style of BRS,
4/5

Jackass 3D (2010)

posted in: films | 0

Went to see it at the cinema the other day.. Its…. a Jackass film. Im not sure what else needs to be said. It runs about an hour and a half and is pretty entertaining if you enjoy Jackass antics.
There is a LOT of pain, shit, cocks, slow-mo facepunching and shit.
Did i mention shit?

The 3d, sadly, doesn’t enhance the film much at all, the opening and ending is shot in full 3d, with exploding shit flying out of the screen and so on, but majority of the film is in pseudo 3d which was abit disappointing.

Highlights for me was the guy sitting behind the Plane engine , High-five and beehive tetherball (which i laughed so hard at i could barely breathe).
Lowlights was probably the ‘Poo cocktail supreme’ which basically involved steve-o being put in a bungee capsule filled with liquid shit. The people outside the capsule were throwing up, it was pretty horrible to watch :X
Oh, the sweat drinking and then throwing up was pretty fucking nasty to watch too.

Im not entirely sure whether i would recommend seeing it at the cinema or not, if you have friends, go see it and hope its pretty full so you at least get that atmosphere. If not, its probably fine to just wait for the DVD to come out since the 3d effect is pretty mediocre.

Machete (2010)

posted in: films | 0

So… Machete is probably the closest thing we’ll ever get to a Duke Nukem film without a Duke Nukem film actually being made. (and lets face it, if it was announced, it wouldnt show its face for a good 20 years anyway)

Machete is basically a guy that doesnt give a fuck, the sort of guy who if sent on a mission of impossible odds and is shown into a big room of guns – will almost immediately go for a Machete. He walks around, doesnt give a fuck, chops peoples heads off and fucks bitches.
The plot is pretty laughable, but nobody is watching it for that, its just a pure hack and slash gorefest style film, and im quite okay with this.

Also, jessica alba has a semi-nude scene, lynsey lohan is topless for half the film and in the first 5 minutes of the film a woman pulls a mobile phone out of her snatch. Guns, blood and tits.

If you have a pair of balls, you should probably check the film out.

Where to start…

posted in: Anime, blog, films, Games, Uni stuff, work | 0

<'Machete' and 'Cladun: This is an RPG' will get their own blog posts because they deserve them>

Work/University Bit:
It feels like whilst theres not strictly a whole lot going on currently with university, its really really busy. I decided this year instead of waiting until the end of the year to summarise my lecture notes, i’d read through them during the year and summarise as I go – obviously, this has not worked out. Im constantly falling further and further behind in lecture summaries… I also got an essay title yesterday, I havent actually read the details on it yet…. i guess i’ll read it now……………………….. Okay, so its 3000 words and due in about 40 days (fucksake.) , you also know you’re in trouble when the description on what your essay is about actually specifies “this is a HARD essay” (yes, in caps),  the essay is also about the human genome, which is fucking hate – mainly because I dont understand that shit. Uffff….
Contributing to the stress of university is the knowing that I need to start applying for graduate jobs or internships now, with most deadlines being in November sometime, I actually spent 3 hours today filling in 1 application, which will probably not get through screening phase anyway. Very very depressing.

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Games bit:
Our internet actually went down for 4 days or so, but thankfully I had just finished downloading ‘DJmax Portable 3’ and ‘Cladun: This is an RPG!’ , both for PSP. DJMP3 is pretty awesome, a twist on the traditional DJmaxPortable gameplay style with remixing tracks and stuff in (kinda like DJhero ,where you have a pseudo crossfader to deal with now) , the downside is that it doesnt have many songs (about 40?) , ah well.
I also downloaded Starcraft 2, but I dont think the crack i’ve got will work with it because it autoupdated to latest. I just wanna try out the campaign without having to shell out £30 :<
I’ll give Cladun its own review at some point because its really good, i clocked 10 hours into it over 2 days, and being on the PSP, thats probably the most play its gotten in such a small period of time.

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Films bit:
Along with seeing machete, I also saw ‘Chaos’ (2005) , starring Jason Statham. Its a pretty weird film, starting off as an action film and then seeming to lose its own way half way through, changing genre a few times before eventually deciding it wants to flip the script on the audience. It was alright i guess, I personally thought it was a little boring, but maybe thats just because I was expecting something along the lines of crank or the transporter after hearing the film title ‘Chaos’. I guess its sort of a detective/psychological film by the end? ehh….

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Anime Bit:
I picked up a bunch of currently airing series, something I dont usually do because I like to be able to watch through all the episodes at my own leisure (and because sometimes its awesome to be able to clear half a season in 1 sitting, especially if its a series that likes using cliffhanger endings)
Anywho… The weekly shows im now watching are…
Panty and Stocking with garterbelt – [which had a really disgusting 3rd episode, no wonder it almost got banned…]– The world god only knows – Which has a shit title, its about a guy that is the king of dating sims, he is then tasked with making real girls fall in love with him (or he gets beheaded)
Squid Girl (Ika musume) – Who is… a squid. Really funny, nice lighthearted comedy (always good when something listed as a comedy actually makes you laugh)
Ore no imouto… (Theres no way my sister can be this cute) – Guy finds out his sister is a super otaku, and has to help her out
I also recently finished ‘Umineko no naku koro ni‘ , from the makers of Higurashi (when the Cicadas cry) , Its a complete mindfuck of an anime, and I dont really recommend it at all, it IS watchable but in general its such a mess that you wont want to, the characters are also annoying as fuck.
Im coming very close to the end of Seto No Hanayome (My bride is a mermaid), so will give opinions on that too soon…
If this blog post makes you want to pick up a series, Id go with Squid Girl for sure.

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