So i cant remember the specifics of this dream as it happened on Thursday Night (and im typing this up on Saturday Night)
Im on a date with a certain someone , i think we were in some sort of restaurant.
SUDDENLY. DISASTER STRIKES.
I need to take a shit , REALLY badly.
I go to the toilets , only problem is , there are no actual toilets. What they have here instead are urinals with doors – so basically a normal toilet stall but with the toilet replaced with a fucking urinal. God i hate my dream world.
So anyway , i drop my trousers and my ass CHARGES ITS BROWN LASER , and by that i mean my asshole expands to the size of the fuckin’ obligator from Quake Wars (click for amazing obligator picture) and disgusting brown/yellow shit starts to fill the urinal. I semi-stand-sit there for a good 3 minutes , this is one epicly huge shit.
I can feel it touching my asscheeks , the poo at this point has filled up the urinal and is starting to mould itself around my ass and up my thighs – this is probably the most disgusting thing ive ever experienced in my life , particularly as the poo is in one steaming lump and has the texture of mashed sweet potatoes (For those who have not had mashed sweet potatoes before – think normal mashed potatoes but slightly lumpier… and with strands.). At last , i stop shitting. I reach for the toilet paper. . . . . . . .
. . .
. . .
Theres no toilet paper.
Now , how i resolve this problem ive actually forgotten. i believe i found something and used it to wipe my ass.
I do however remember standing up and seeing a urinal filled to the brim with shit and having the shape of my ass moulded into it.
I put back on my trousers , which is a horrible feeling considering i was pretty sure i didnt manage to wipe all the shit off my thighs.
And then , as i walk out of the toilet , i wake up.
I bolt upright in bed and look under my covers…
My boxers and shorts are wedged up my ass , which is pretty disgusting , but at the same time i’m just glad i didn’t shit myself in my sleep.