So practically dragged to the cinema today to watch the new Batman film which im sure you’ve all heard about.
Everybody said it looked really good in the trailers , that it got good reviews etc etc.
I was very sceptical (as usual) , the trailer made the film look pretty meh and it was very much on my list of ‘films that probably wont get watched ever’
I was pleasantly surprised then when i watched the film and it didnt suck a massive pile of cocks. The film turned out to not be bad at all , infact i may even be persuaded into saying that it was ‘good’ although imo it misses the bar for ‘awesome’ by quite a margin.
(i should probably adapt some sort of fashion for ‘reviewing’ movies , since i seem to do it differently every time. Its nowhere near the standard of ‘Pryme’ s movie review blog posts – back when she used to actually update her fucking blog of course. I hope you’re reading this Miss Stephanie , if that is your real name.)
What made the film NOT suck?
– The joker – admittedly the films saving grace. Ledger turned the joker into a whitefaced clown into a true psychotic nutjob.
– The length of the film – it felt awfully long to me. Although not quite to the extent where its ‘for godsake just let the film end’ , it lets you feel like you got your moneys worth , particuarly that there are so many fucking twists and turns in the film that it feels like you’ve watched a trilogy.
– Morgan freeman – everyone loves Morgan freeman
– Batmans Sore throat – Was so fucking unneccesary that it was hilarious. It would appear that when he dons the batsuit™ he is forced to punch himself in the throat 8 times , eat a smal barb wire fence and then contract throat cancer.
Okay then , what made the film suck?
– Batman. – I hate batman. He doesent even have any super powers. pft.
– No batarangs – batman is supposed to have batarangs.
– The chinese guy gets burned to death , what the fuck is this racism.
– Harvey’s face towards the end of the film , it was gross.
– Michael Caine – I fucking hate that guy. He’s such a wank. Im yet to see one film where he doesent suck ass.
– Morgan Freeman – He never calls anyone a motherfucker :<
– The whole love story thing was crap.
– Batmans voice (again) – the whole sore throat thing just plain pisses you off towards the end of the film, it makes his mouth go all weird when he’s talking to. That or he enjoys airing his gums or something?
End Note : Not as amazing as everyone claims , but a pretty good film. And this is coming from a guy that really dislikes batman.