Alone in the Dark PC

And for anyone who bought the game , thats where it’ll stay. Alone. Buried deep in a ditch somewhere.
The PC version anyway.

where do i start.

The monsters are kind of like those found in Condemned , only these ones are 10x more stupid , and 5x less aggresive. They lumber up to you without attacking , and then randomly sometimes they’ll jump forwards to attack you.

The graphics are pretty good , although the game seems verymuch unoptimized. I can’t run it at maximum settings without getting massive frame dips.

You can’t skip cutscenes.

Now here comes the meat of this minireview thing.

THE CONTROLS SUCK ASS.
This is the biggest understatement of the year.

There is nothing intuitive about the control system in this game , you thought Final Fantasy XI was bad? Yeah. You’re right. That was probably fucking worse.
Actually , come to think. This one is probably worse considering that its an action game wheras the majority of the controls in FFXI were just walking around and the occasional battle.

The problems started early in the game for me.
A segment which introduced fire to me.
Picking up the fire extinguisher was the easy part , however ‘Spraying’ the fire extinguisher took me about an hour to figure out – And only happened much later on in the game. The tutorial box thingy says BUTTON0 TO SPRAY THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER.
I hit left mouse button. My character swings the fire extinguisher round in a clockwise motion.
This goes on for about FIVE MINUTES. By which time the fire that was raging through the room has already died out on its own out of pity for me playing the game.
After walking through the fire and flames (LOL IM CROSS COME JOIN ME ON THE CIRKUT GUYS) i get to the next room where a man is begging me to break the door down.
BUTTON0 TO BREAK THE DOOR DOWN.
To which i think to myself ‘you just told me the same button was to extinguish flames. Fucking game.’
I figure i can actually accomplish the door breaking down though , so i position myself in front of the door (harder than it sounds) and press left mouse button – expecting the character to swing the extinguisher forwards like a battering ram , like it said it would before.
Instead im presented with the same retarded clockwise spin attack from before. The HAV0K PHYSX kick in and my extinguisher bounces off the wall like a metal cylinder bouncing off a brick wall (havok physics is pretty amazing).
Right i thought to myself , the extinguisher hit the left part of the wall , so if i position myself to the right of the door , ill be fine!
I reposition.
I click left mouse button.

MOTHERFUCKER SWINGS ANTICLOCKWISE FROM RIGHT TO LEFT.
I alt F4.

Scenes like the one above happen approximately every 2 minutes in game , i was recently greeted by a parked car which i was supposed to break into.
SMASH THE WINDOW TO GAIN ACCESS TO THE CAR
Attacking has practically no effect other than denting the side of the car and not the windows. I ended up having to use my pistol to get in.
Once inside and mashing E , the dude starts trying to hotwire the car.
Zombies are dashing towards you , You see the wires in front of you.
No help , no nothing.
The only information you’re presented with is MOVE MOUSE TO MOVE WIRES and RIGHT CLICK TO SWITCH WIRES.
What the fuck am i supposed to do here? ive never hotwired a car before.

Oh , and then theres a nice driving sequence. And you KNOW that was fun.

Another issue i have with this game is the healing system. You need healing spray to.. uh.. heal.
Without which , you run around and die in 1 hit until you can find the healing spray – which you never do. As such you just end up plain stuck.

The game does do a few things well , the inventory combining system is very cool , celotaping glowsticks to enemies/ceilings and throwing around explosive sprays and bottles of petrol and whatever.

Endword – Everything the game does right is completely destroyed by the games horrible control system , and random gameplay bugs and flaws.
I didn’t spend any money obtaining this game , and tbh – i feel ripped off. (i think i had more fun playing mall tycoon 3)
It might be worth playing on 360 , but dont even think about installing it on PC.

(did i mention the 360 controller does not work with the game?)