Shoot ’em up (2007)

Its been a while since ive seen a film so good it deserved its own blog post.

‘Shoot em up’ is one of those films, i watched it Saturday night with housemates and its definately been a while since ive seen anything so ridiculous.

So the plot is…. well.. fucking abysmal. Its ridiculous and nonsensical. The characters are equally ridiculous and nonsensical – a prostitute with milky tits , a random baby, a hero who makes agent tequilla (Hardboiled/stranglehold) look like an amateur and who spits out more one liners than Arnold Schwarzenegger , and a bad guy who is fucking telepathic and takes about 10 bullets over the course of the film and refuses to die.


Its hard to explain why the film is so good without spoiling some of the best bits of the film…. so ill only spoil a few , a scene where the hero takes out a heavily armed assault team whilst naked and fucking the hooker , a scene where he shoots the back of a filing cabinet and the drawer hits some guy in the face (knocking him unconscious of course.) , a scene where he has a gunfight whilst freefalling out of a plane (because bullets still travel in straight lines when you’re moving at terminal velocity) , and finally he stabs a guy in the eye with a carrot.

I actually hacked the DVD and found some extra features , The film was originally going to be….

johnwoomaxpayneBut they were concenered the film  would be TOO good and kill off the movie industry as we know it , after all,  why bother trying to top a max payne film starring chev chellios eh.

See. This. Film.
6/5 neon edged goombas