13 Reasons why Resi Revelations 2 is awful

So against my better judgement I decided to continue on with the game, playing through the other episodes.. eventually finding myself towards the end of Episode 4, when something tipped me over the edge and I just said ‘fuck it. I can’t deal with this game anymore’ and I exited out and probably won’t ever launch it again. It gets that bad.

As odd as it is to say, Revelations 2 somehow manages to feel like a poor resident evil clone of the recent ‘Evil Within’ game.


Anyway, Have some bullet points.


– The story is fucking retarded, even by resident evil standards


– Moiras dialogue is fucking retarded, even teenagers don’t say the dumb shit she says, you can’t just write normal angsty dialogue and then throw ‘fuck’ in there every now and then “I’m going to survive the fuck out of this”. WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.


– The level design is terribly linear and this only gets worse after the first episode


– The level design is also retarded, with enemies and traps in places seemingly only put there to annoy.


– There are enemies which are completely invisible and kill you instantly if you get to close to them, and then the level designers thought it would be a good idea to throw these into timed escape sequences, where the average player is going to be holding the run button. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHO THOUGHT THIS IS A GOOD IDEA. I HATE YOU.


– Natalia (the little girl) apparently has enough physical strength to pick up and carry a generator unit which has dimensions probably 1m3,  this annoyed me more than it probably should have.


– The game has serious pacing issues


– Episode 4 featured possibly the most boring 10 minute area/segment i’ve ever played in a video game ever – and i’ve played a lot of video games.


– There are lengthy segments clearly designed for co-op play… the co-op play is of course missing from the PC version


– There was a part where the AI decided to fall off a cliff, causing me to get a game over.


– Overabundance of items which are completely useless without ‘bottles’, and then an item system which refused to let me discard said useless items. I wasn’t aware this shitty rag of cloth was important to the overarching story of the game.


– Unexplained inconsistencies toward the end of the story, bitches be teleporting around location wise or coming back to life etc.


– Bosses are lazily made, having only 2 or 3 attacks.
– – The boss in the claire campaign would regularly manage to attack me through terrain
– – One of the bosses in the barry campaign features an instant kill grab attack and is fought in a small enclosed area, and you bet your AI partner is just going to be standing around.


– Fucking hell did I mention how bad the story was?


To Summarize: